I was laying here next to Elijah, on my bed-he's been throwing up with a headache and has a 101.1 fever. I was thinking about where we were as a family this time last year. This time last year Mike was getting ready to graduate from TCC with his Sonography degree. We were getting ready to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary. I was still working for Amazon.com as a customer service representative. Dallas was finishing the 6th grade, Cody the 4th, Elijah the 2nd and Brandon Kindergarten. Fast forward a year and our lives have taken a completely different direction. Obviously the biggest change, which is really hard for me to say because I haven't written in any public setting yet, is that Mike and I are divorced-officially. No we won't be celebrating 15 years of marriage in 2 days. Instead of going out to dinner, I will be attending Cody's 5th grade promotion.
I have had to do a lot of soul searching during this past year. I have never liked change. I'm really bad at. Looking back over what has happened in my life and the lives of my children over the last year has been full of change. I'm trying to think positive and believe that this change is good. Of course, dealing with uninvited change in our lives is often difficult and painful. I'm trying to take one day at a time while I figure out this whole single parent thing. Managing a home all by myself, trying to figure out how to keep my kids in this house, figuring out how to make the bills and finances meet. Changing jobs, educational goals, marital status-I hope a year from now, we are doing ok. I don't know where this change will lead us, if we will be in this house, what kind of job I'll have. Right now, I'm just trying to keep everything the same-as much as possible for the boys. I'm trying to keep up fun traditions and do things as a family so the boys have some sense of stability.
One such tradition is taking walks. We used to always take walks. When Mike and I were first dating we took sooo many long walks and then continued that tradition when we moved to Logan and then when Dallas was little, we would walk all over Orem Blvd. and to the parks and schools. Once we moved up here to Washington, the Orting Trail became our new walking path and then in more recent years, we have enjoyed walking down by the river. I took the boys to the Orting trail a few weeks ago and even packed all their bikes in the van (thanks to Dallas) and we enjoyed a nice couple miles.
2 comments:
I thought of these words by Elder Holland as I read through your post. "If you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do. Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones.
Mothers, we acknowledge and esteem your faith in every footstep. Please know that it is worth it then, now, and forever. And if, for whatever reason, you are making this courageous effort alone, without your husband at your side, then our prayers will be all the greater for you, and our determination to lend a helping hand even more resolute. May I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well... no one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying. You have every right to receive encouragement and to know in the end your children will call your name blessed.
You can’t possibly do this alone, but you do have help. The Master of Heaven and Earth is there to bless you—
Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.
Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And 'press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.' You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging."
I know you are having some challenging days and nights--especially when the kids are not feeling well--it is difficult. I sure hope Elijah starts feeling better. We love you and are here for you always and forever.
Those words were taken from April 1997 "Because She is a Mother" by Elder Holland.
I forgot to mention that. :)
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